White Cube

Last night I went to the opening of White Cube Bermondsey, YBA hipster Jay Jopling's newest addition to his collection of galleries. At 58,000 square feet of faceless 1970s warehouse, it's Europe's largest commercial gallery and will no doubt continue to raise the area's profile. (Of course, the gallery is of course not in Bermondsey proper, but among the growing strip of boutique shops and restaurants on Bermondsey Street, dominating the end just below José).

The art on display last night was second fiddle to people-watching, with the international jet-set clique choosing to slum it in SE1 before the Frieze Art Fair over the coming days. Hundreds of people queued down Bermondsey Street, hoping to rub shoulders with glamorous opening night crowd, including Damien Hirst, Tracy Emin, Gilbert & George and other YBA luminaries along with countless expensively-dressed, beautiful people laughing into their champagne flutes. Literally, all night.

While technically a commercial gallery, the prices mean that the art is as out of reach for most people as any Picasso, but it's still worth popping by if you're in the area. Future exhibitions and premieres are expected to feature contemporary works household names, so White Cube Bermondsey could become part of the gallery trail yet.

José opening

I recently went to the opening of José on my own wee Bermondsey Street.

José is a new tapas bar opened by José Pizarro, co-founder and former executive chef of Tapas Brindisa (itself an SE1 and Mr Christopher institution), and is inspired by the tapas joints of Barcelona’s bustling Boquería market. It's low-key, small, busy and very suited to Bermondsey Street.

José was so busy on the launch night – and has been the couple of times I've been back since – that punters tend to stand rather than sit, which adds to the authentic, bustling atmosphere and keeps the place lively. Despite being rushed off their feet, the staff were very attentive and able to talk in depth about each dish.

José himself (above) is affable and looks like a mischievous little devil – although if according to his works shall a man be judged, this guy is an angel: the menu changes daily and features incredible jamón ibérico de bellota, boquerones, croquettes and a very simple but very good tomato mush on bread. It doesn't sound like much, but I promise you would like it. The Spanish wine list was curated by Tim Atkin and has a strong focus on sherry, which I'm told Sr. Pizarro believes is well-overdue a renaissance in the UK, and a decent range of prices.

With a larger, more formal restaurant in the same area in the pipeline for later this year, José Pizarro appears to be establishing an empire in SE1. Lord knows, he has made an auspicious start.

José, 104 Bermondsey Street, SE1 3UB

Flesh and Blood & Fish and Fowl

Last week I saw Flesh and Blood & Fish and Fowl at the Barbican.

The short play centres on two admin gophers in a non-descript American convenience foods superstore. Gerry, played by Geoff Sobelle, is a sort of scruffy middle-manager who lives in the office bin; Rhoda, played by Charlotte Ford, is his gawky, whiny secretary who desperately wants to be sexy. Both are neurotic, obsessive and live an ordered, suppressed non-life. Geoff's inability to either successfully swat or ignore a buzzing fly, and Rhoda's guilty and constant Wotsit-munching sum up their powerless, unfulfilled, tedious existences.

BUT ONE DAY, with bathos and frustration already at fever pitch thanks to an unappreciated memo, noisy microwave and overly effective flypaper, ORDER AND RESTRAINT DISINTEGRATE. Rhoda reads out a news report about a pack of captured chimps murdering one of their own, and base and revolutionary instincts in the pair erupt. A deranged Gerry devours Rhoda's ready-meal, the pair do it like they do on the Discovery Channel in an unstable dumpster, and a sexually awakened Rhoda prowls round the office wreaking havoc. The degeneration is mirrored, or perhaps provoked, by the sudden appearance of nature in the office. First a bit of ivy creeps out of a drawer, then a stuffed weasel jumps out from behind a desk, escalating until the set is dripping with vines and taxidermy.

The message is unmistakable: "hey, don't ignore the natural world, and remember that we too are all animals". Nothing new – it's not a million miles from Day of the Triffids – and subtle it ain't. But by the time rabbits, pheasants, rams and deers have invaded the stage, and an uncomfortably life-like bear has mauled the protagonists (in front of a corporate video showing industrial food processing), you don't feel short-changed.

The balance between horror and comedy was perfectly struck. To my surprise, given it was part of the London International Mime Festival, there wasn't a beret or glass box in sight and the show wasn't silent. There were, however, long periods without script, admirably kept alive by tension, the eerie or absurd appearance of a stuffed fox or two, and the sheer physicality of the performers. Indeed, Sobelle and Ford each appear to be a blend of actor and clown: even leaving physical comedy aside, the characters are defined by their failings, and reveal their true selves in spite of their best efforts to project a casual, flirtatious or cool image – very clownish traits, as Sobelle noted in the post-show Q&A.

Flesh and Blood is inventive, funny, apocalyptic and a worthy winner of a Fringe First award last year. The show was first conceived in Philadelphia something like 7 years ago, and has appeared in various incarnations since, so keep your eyes peeled. And steer clear of ready-meals in the meantime.

Braganza's LFW Cycle Hire Bike

London Fashion Week will soon be upon us, and LFW designer Jean-Pierre Braganza has added his own little urban accessory to his SS11 collection: a limited edition Barclays Cycle Hire bike!
The frames of the chosen bikes, usually grey, navy and cyan, will be coated with this delicate, smokey and summery salmon pink print as a way of building awareness of the bike scheme.

The designer said: "As a very keen cyclist in London, Barclays Cycle Hire offers the freedom to explore the city worry-free. By customising a bike for London Fashion Week, I hope to indicate the inspiration travel has provided in my work, and highlight that everyone can, and should, explore and discover our city." More than 500,000 journeys have been made since the Cycle Hire scheme launch and over 80,000 people have registered to become members.

Braganza's show Incendiata opens day one of LFW. Queues at nearby docking stations to be expected...

Into the Woods

Once upon a time (that was last night), I saw Into the Woods at Regent's Park Open Air Theatre. It was one of the best things I have seen in London.

The sylvan setting was breathtaking, enclosed by beautifully lit trees and centred around a treehouse-style series of rickety platforms, spiralling staircases and ladders. The production made full use of the space, with Rapunzel's nesting box of tower positioned halfway up a tree, a staircase of umbrellas popping up to create a beanstalk, and the enormous Giant rearing to life out of undergrowth at the side of the stage. Fantastically whimsical costumes completed the impression and visually, the show was absolutely perfect.
In fact, pretty much everything was spot on. The cast was outstanding, with an assured and hugely charismatic performance from Hannah Waddingham as the Witch, and Michael Xavier excelling as a ravenous and, erm, "charged" Wolf and suavely self-absorbed Cinderella's Prince. Beverly Rudd also delighted as a gleefully greedy Little Red Riding Hood and, with one or two minor exceptions (Giants in the Sky - a Mr Christopher favourite - was less strident and urgent than it could have been), the performances were unimpeachable.

Into the Woods has always come under fire for its second act, which critics say loses its edge, contains weaker songs and gets its preach on. The moralising is undeniable - any show that contains direct instructions on how to parent is going to get on some people' wick. But the plot and songs are fine - they're just different to those of the first act. The first act is the first movement or theme; it sets up shop and could be a neatly contained, simple (if inconsequential) show in itself. The second act then takes the first as its starting point; it plays on it, builds on it, pulls it apart a little and - yes - deviates. But as one article argued this week, it shows Sondheim's genius in forcing contrasts, darkness and dissonance into what can be a saccharine genre.

The reviews have rightly been excellent and it's just a shame that the run, at five weeks, is so short. Get a ticket if you can.
Until 11 September, Open Air Theatre.

UPDATE 16 MARCH 2011: Into the Woods wins Best Musical Revival at the 2011 Olivier Awards.

Foursquare

I have a question. I don't want to sound like one of those misers who think they have the measure of Twitter by asking WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT TWITTER WHO WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YOU HAD FOR BREAKFAST (usually either accompanied by an exasperated Jeremy-Clarkson-book-cover stance, or muttered wryly in an attempt to sound like a cross between Blackadder and Oscar Wilde)... but what's so great about Foursquare?

For a start, I'm only 70% sure I know what it is. One of my friends often has things posted to his Facebook page saying thinks like "I am starting a trip to New York" or "I am in Starbucks, Broadgate", and I'm pretty sure that the name of the beast is Foursquare. Someone else has just instructed me to join it and, after a cursory and no doubt wildly inaccurate skim of a Guardian article on the subject, I'm not sure I would like it very much for the following reasons:

• There's something distastefully and self-defeatingly transparent about going "HEY! I am at this Cool Venue" which, despite the fact that I am as superficial and self-promoting as anyone, I don't like.
• I don't sufficiently trust the judgment of randoms to break out my phone every time I go into a cafe to see if someone has said "have the bacon roll! It's deliiiiicious lols!".
• As far as the "hooking up!" ability goes, there are probably only about six people that I would never resent bumping into. The day where my phone is excitedly bleeping at me to tell me that my college hockey captain is in a 400 metre radius is a day I would rather have stayed in bed.

I don't think my BlackBerry would let me install it in any event, so it's probably academic, but you know. Good to have a view.

ICRC 'Missing Lives' Exhibition

The International Red Cross 'Missing Lives' exhibition catches you off-guard as you wander guilelessly along the South Bank. Installed on a jutting platform opposite Gabriel's Wharf, it appears to be a glossy display of high definition photography - glamorous eye candy, no doubt!

On closer inspection, however, the exhibition has a sombre and moving story to tell. 'Missing Lives' highlights 15 individual accounts taken from thousands describing pain and loss from the Balkans wars, which scarred Yugoslavia in the 1990s and cost the lives of about 140,000 people.

Of those 140,000, a quarter of simply vanished and were reported missing by their families. Even today, almost 15,000 people remain unaccounted for. Photography by Nick Danziger and text by Rory MacLean illustrate the anguish suffered by the families of the murdered and missing.

Some stories are shocking, others just sad. Piecing them together produces a terrifying vision of a world where neighbour turned on neighbour and close-knit communities were ravaged by mass executions, often willingly carried out by citizens upon their acquaintances.

Unexpectedly and suddenly moving, this restrained yet harrowing exhibition may take the spring from your step as you trot alongside the river, but don't avert your eyes: it is profound, thought-provoking and - as pressure increases on the West Balkans governments to provide answers to affected families - timely.

'Missing Lives', Gabriel's Wharf, 7 July to 26 July.

Maurice Sendak: Mr Cool

Hat tip: Yimmy's Yayo.

How much do musicians make online?

The answer is not very much. Digital royalties are looooow, with the below diagram (from Information is Beautiful) illustrating how many units / plays artists need to shift to earn the US minimum monthly wage. 143 self-pressed CDs = >4.5 million plays on Spotify. Yikes!

Wenlock and Mandeville

Today the people of Britain saw the below picture and in a rare display of national unity shrieked as one: WTF?
Why, of course it's Wenlock, the 2012 Olympic mascot, and Mandeville, his Paralympic counterpart. I don't know about you, but when I see these two misfits lumbering terrifyingly down the street, I'm going to think "well this clearly encapsulates the spirit of the Olympic Games!"

What's that weird orange blob atop the head of eitherWenlockorMandevillelikeitmatters, you ask? Apparently it's a light in the style of those found on the Hackney carriage taxi for which London is so famous! And what better way to replicate the indication that a cab is for hire than by mounting a weird clitoris-type thing on top of a one-eyed maniacal monster, and sending him out to play with children.

And what's with the cyclops thing? Apparently that is not only an eye but also a LENS, which is a nod to the digital / webcam / iPhone generation. Groovy! It also signifies that the figures may be turned into cameras and camcorders when they go commercial in July. Needless to say, I think I'll stick with my trusty Canon, thanks.

Coalition Time

In sneaks British Airways Pilot of the Year 2009, Nick Clegg.

Not pictured: David Cameron's coattails.

Well overdue

Come on you Spurs!

PARTY LEADER SECRETLY WANTS TO WIN GENERAL ELECTION

In what sense is this an exclusive?

The Times follows with the shock news that most businesses try to make money, many sporting teams hope to win their various matches, and that some journalists stick "Exclusive" at the start of any headline to justify what would otherwise be a non-event story.

RIP Guru

International Pillow Fight Day

Saturday 3 April. Pictures below from Edinburgh, Paris, Warsaw and Budapest. London's was at St Paul's and I MISSED IT.

Cycle Hire: 30 July 2010

Boris and TFL have announced this week that the Cycle Hire scheme in London will launch on Friday 30 July 2010.

More than 40 docking stations are planned in my area alone (below) but, as reported by the the outstanding SE1 community website, some of the local residents are making a fuss.

Only last week an application was rejected for a 23-bike docking station across the street. Apparently the big worry is increased noise, disturbance and risk of public disorder, which I think is overly anxious - you could say the same about a proposed bus shelter.

Anyway, the scheme begins with 6,000 hire cycles spread over 400 locations across zone 1 (see map). Users will pay an access fee (£1 for 24 hours, £5 for seven days and £45 for a year) and then a usage charge if applicable (no charge for 30 mins, £1 for an hour, £4 for 1 1/2 hours, £6 for 2 hours).

I've got my own trusty steed but am such a fan of the idea that I'm still signing up - the scheme will be perfect for unexpected little journeys, and at £45 for an unlimited number of 30 minute trips all year, won't break the bank. Good work TFL.

Lego Repair

The Nelly Duff blog showed recently the work of Jan Vormann, an artist who travels the world repairing crumbling monuments with Lego.
Instantly familiar, with a little research I disovered that Jan was responsible for the little additions I saw this summer at De Waag (right), a city gate and weighing house dating from 1488 in Amsterdam's Nieuwmarkt.

You can't help but be charmed by the helpful 'Elves and the Shoemaker' thinking behind Vormann's initiative, and by the shots of colour his quirky inserts bring to decaying walls.
The concept is so simple and cheap it's easy to replicate - the Amsterdam campaign was waged by Jan and a group of enthusiastic volunteers. In the time-honoured words of Neil Buchanan: go on - try it yourself!

Toilet roll carvings

Now bear with me. They may not sound glamorous, interesting or even hygenic, but these TOILET ROLL CARVINGS are exquisitely beautiful intricacies that deserve your attention. I promise.

Anastassia Elias uses tweezers to manipulate inside the rolls shapes cut from identical paper. By contrast, Brooklyn-based Yuken Teruya makes carvings from just one roll (right and below). I've seen Teruya's work before at Phillips de Pury in Victoria, and it's utterly captivating.

And you felt virtuous just RECYCLING your old toilet rolls. Shame on you. Get carving.

ArcelorMittal Orbit

Britain's biggest ever piece of public art was revealed today: the ArcelorMittal Orbit, chosen to mark the 2012 Olympic Games.

The looping, twisted tubular tower stands at 115m – taller than the Statue of Liberty (93 metres) and Big Ben (96 metres) – and will afford visitors a panoramic view of London.

Designed by Turner Prize-winning artist Anish Kapoor, the spiralling steel structure will cost £19.1m, though only £3.1m of this will come from the London Development Agency, with the rest coming from steel company ArcelorMittal.

Boris has nicknamed it "The Hubble Bubble" because he thinks it looks like a massive shisha pipe. Which I don't really see (What has HE been smoking, etc!), but then the curved design is supposed to incorporate the five Olympic rings, and I don't really see that either.

As a legacy building, it may be no Eiffel Tower, but at least the viewing platform means it will actually have a use, giving it an edge over the Angel of the North, for example.

I like it. A little bit alien invasion, a little bit rollercoaster, a little bit… BRIGHT RED. It's a little bit tacky, sure, but while not every structure can be a landmark, Mr Christopher sees nothing wrong with large-scale public art striving to be strong, striking and spectacular. As the tower will be built inside the Olympic Park itself, it will be surrounded by modern stadia and regenerated landscape, so you can't accuse it of being particularly unsympathetic to its environment.

Mr Christopher verdict: War of the Worlds meets Angel of the North and apparently also a shisha pipe. 7/10

"Hey kids, who wants to go to the Olympic Park?"

Nocturnes

I don't care what they say: there's nothing wrong with judging a book by its cover. I do it wholeheartedly. It's the sort of thing I sit and think about.

- The dilemma -
Want this:


Not this:


Only:

You see my dilemma. It's a literally impossible literary quandry. I am paralysed by indecision and expect to end up buying neither or both.