I ran the Flora London Marathon on Sunday. Here are ten great things I didn't know about the marathon then but do now:
1. I can run faster than loveably vile chef and thinking lady's adulterer Gordon Ramsay.
2. I cannot run faster than a carrot.
3. While employers can no longer sponsor marathon-running employees as much as they once did, thanks to the recession...
4. ... most other people's generosity remains unchanged. Current non-work fundraising total: £1563.01
5. Contrary to popular opinion, the Cutty Sark is not a particularly memorable landmark to run around when it is in a box.
6. Running past your office will make you wail that all is forgiven and claw at the doors, begging to be let in for a few hours' monotonous proofreading in a dark, quiet room.
7. Waving your arms around as you cross the finish line will make your iPod fall out of your pocket and crack on the floor.
8. If you run the marathon, the BBC will refer to you in its coverage as an "athlete". In your face, grammar school P.E. teacher Mr. Stevens!
9. There is an entire spectrum of blisters on my feet; a cacophonous rainbow of colours ranging from benign beige to furious crimson. Lesson learnt: marathons give you blisters (in other news: Pope thought to be a Catholic).
10. Giving up alcohol and caffeine will not make you run faster than your original target (3.30), revised target (3.45) or realistic expectation (3.50). Lesson learnt: wine and coffee doth a fast runner make. Presumably.
Sounds like good advice anyway. And on that note, must dash - meeting a friend to celebrate.