Friday, May 1, 2009

Edwin's Raisin goes political

As you may be able to tell from the above, I'm thinking of becoming much more political on here (I'm deeply pro-hat).

This is because I see that the BBC News page is very popular so thought maybe if I talk about news I'll get more followers. More followers than one.

So. WHAT NEWS IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT. Swine Flu? I could trotter out my favourite swine flu puns:

  • Worried about swine flu? Why not go and get some oinkment, ha ha ha!
  • I think I have swine flu as I have come out in a rasher, ha ha ha!
  • Hey! Do not get swine flu; it is sow unbecoming, ha ha ha!
  • Apparently we should be fine: the UK has been stockpiling Hamiflu for years, ha ha ha!
  • I just called the NHS Swine Flu helpline, but all I got was crackling, ha ha ha!
  • People wonder who started swine flu - all I can say is that it s'nout to do with me, ha ha ha!
I hope that wasn't too boaring for everyone.

I could also talk about hats to make it look like there was a reason for that Aretha Franklin picture at the start.

A brief history of Mr. Christopher's hats:

  • Age 7: gets a cowboy hat from Tunisia. Wears it for a bit before realising looks like a berk. Puts it on teddy and leaves it at home. Tells friends, friends think he is a berk. 7 too old to be putting hats on teddies.
  • Age 8: has a very garish multi-coloured baseball cap. Takes it on holiday. Blows off head while on boat. Shrieks and cries like a girl. Hopes teddy is taking care of cowboy hat at home.
  • Ages 9-14: stung by previous experiences; pretty quiet on the hat front.
  • Age 15: gets a Tour de France cap. Wears it and realises maybe hats are back. Keeps it away from teddy (don't want him getting jealous and nabbing it!)
  • Age 16: thinks is black. Gets a Fubu hat. Wears it backwards. Friends, family and - most upsettingly - teddy thinks he is a berk.
  • Age 19: buys flat cap in Paris. Wears it a lot. Comments rage from "like Will Young!" to "like a wanker!" Teddy saying nothing.
  • Age 20: wears an array of caps, beanies and the flat cap at university. Oh if teddy could see me now!
  • Age 24: buys a trilby. World howls in dismay. Teddy moves out.
  • Age 25: becomes skeptical of hats again.
  • Age 26: sees Arethra Franklin's hat on Obama inauguration. Likes it, buys it. Teddy moves back in.
There we go! Linked back in and a happy ending to boot. BBC watch out.

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