This is because I see that the BBC News page is very popular so thought maybe if I talk about news I'll get more followers. More followers than one.
So. WHAT NEWS IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT. Swine Flu? I could trotter out my favourite swine flu puns:
- Worried about swine flu? Why not go and get some oinkment, ha ha ha!
- I think I have swine flu as I have come out in a rasher, ha ha ha!
- Hey! Do not get swine flu; it is sow unbecoming, ha ha ha!
- Apparently we should be fine: the UK has been stockpiling Hamiflu for years, ha ha ha!
- I just called the NHS Swine Flu helpline, but all I got was crackling, ha ha ha!
- People wonder who started swine flu - all I can say is that it s'nout to do with me, ha ha ha!
I could also talk about hats to make it look like there was a reason for that Aretha Franklin picture at the start.
A brief history of Mr. Christopher's hats:
- Age 7: gets a cowboy hat from Tunisia. Wears it for a bit before realising looks like a berk. Puts it on teddy and leaves it at home. Tells friends, friends think he is a berk. 7 too old to be putting hats on teddies.
- Age 8: has a very garish multi-coloured baseball cap. Takes it on holiday. Blows off head while on boat. Shrieks and cries like a girl. Hopes teddy is taking care of cowboy hat at home.
- Ages 9-14: stung by previous experiences; pretty quiet on the hat front.
- Age 15: gets a Tour de France cap. Wears it and realises maybe hats are back. Keeps it away from teddy (don't want him getting jealous and nabbing it!)
- Age 16: thinks is black. Gets a Fubu hat. Wears it backwards. Friends, family and - most upsettingly - teddy thinks he is a berk.
- Age 19: buys flat cap in Paris. Wears it a lot. Comments rage from "like Will Young!" to "like a wanker!" Teddy saying nothing.
- Age 20: wears an array of caps, beanies and the flat cap at university. Oh if teddy could see me now!
- Age 24: buys a trilby. World howls in dismay. Teddy moves out.
- Age 25: becomes skeptical of hats again.
- Age 26: sees Arethra Franklin's hat on Obama inauguration. Likes it, buys it. Teddy moves back in.